The Full Package: What You Don't Say Matters
by Adam
What you don’t say matters in an interview; your handshake,
body language, facial expressions, eye contact, tone, volume,
inflection, and clothing all matter. Some even argue that
they can speak just as much about you as your words can. They
feel that, while verbal responses may or may not be entirely
truthful, those other features rarely lie. But don’t
fret that your body and emotions may betray you at that critical
interview hour. Instead, use them to your advantage. If you
acknowledge each and know how to control them, you can have
power over not only what you say, but also the complete impression
that you give your interviewer.
One of the first impressions you will probably give is through
your handshake, which conveys quite a bit about you and your
attitude toward the interviewer. A weak handshake can give
the impression of disinterested, cold, or timid person. However,
a strong well-gripped handshake gives the impression of a
friendly, enthusiastic person—just don’t turn
your hand into a vice grip. A dominant person also tends to
have a strong handshake with his or her palm facing down,
while a diplomatic person may handshake with his or her left
hand holding the wrist or arm of the other person. Practice
your handshake with someone and ask what impression you give
them.
Body language doesn’t necessarily correspond to how
a people feel, but it almost always affects how other people
perceive them to feel. In fact, research has shown that body
language, along with tone of voice, accounts for 65 percent
of what’s communicated. Slouching conveys boredom, apathy,
and laziness. Crossed arms indicate an unwillingness to listen.
Fidgeting shows restlessness. Touching your face or playing
with your hair can be a sign that you’re hiding something.
And a fixed, unfocused stare shows that your attention is
elsewhere. These are all obviously forms of body language
to avoid during your interview. It is best to convey an active
and accepting mood by fully facing your interviewer and leaning
slightly forward with open arms, hands rested in your lap,
head raised with occasional nodding when you agree and head
tilted to show that you are listening. Of course, you should
try to let these body signals come naturally by practicing
and being aware of your own body language.
“The face is the index of the mind,” or so the
old saying goes, and if that’s true, then psychologist
Paul Ekman has decoded and categorized the index according
to the Facial Action Coding System http://www.paulekman.com/frame3.html.
A smile is the most positive signal you can give, asserting
your good nature and enthusiasm about both the interview and
the college that the interview is for. But be careful about
grinning constantly—a dopey grin can have a rather negative
impact, and a sly smirk can cause you to come of as cocky
or condescending. Several other facial features are also universally
recognized as emotional signals. A furrowed brow can display
confusion. Combined with a scrunched nose, that furrowed brow
signals disgust. Unscrunch that nose and raise that brow for
a wide-eyed effect and you’ve got an indicator of interest
or surprise. Avoid clenched teeth, a down turned mouth, and
narrowed eyes unless you want to convey anger, sadness, or
distrust respectively.
During conversation, we often give away our emotion through
that ever transparent window to the soul, the eyes. When we
are uninterested or uncomfortable, we tend to break eye contact
and look somewhere else, whereas reasonable eye contact (short
of staring) is ocular acknowledgement that you are listening.
When people are lying, they have a tendency to avert their
eyes, often upward and to the right. Rapid blinking and flickering
of the eyelids indicates nervousness. Keep calm, consistent
eye contact with the occasional break to ponder interesting
questions and your soul will come out clean and fresh.
Thoughtful, intelligent, and sincere answers to the interviewer’s
questions won’t do you as much good if your voice gives
a contradictory impression. Nervousness is usually the easiest
emotion to detect in people’s voices, but the voice
can also imply uncertainty, indifference, sarcasm, and anger
among other emotions. Applicants who give the best impression
will probably speak slightly slower than normal to avoid nervous
rambling, speak clearly and vary their tones and volumes where
appropriate to avoid a monotone or mumbling. They’ll
also keep their hands always from their mouths as they speak,
let their voice show their enthusiasm (just not in a sing-song
way), and always pause before speaking to avoid reacting and
saying something they’ll regret; no one wants to wind
up thinking, “I wish I hadn’t said that!”
Finally, clothing is probably one of the few non-verbal features
of an interview that applicants do concern themselves with,
but it is the one that they probably have the least to be
concerned about. Dress in what you are comfortable wearing.
If you feel awkward and uncomfortable wearing a skirt or a
tie, remember that you’re not expected to wear one.
Wear something respectable that still allows you to be comfortable.
What’s respectable is largely at your discretion and
should be determinable based on where you’re meeting.
In order to put these tips into practice, it may be a good
idea to video tape yourself doing a practice interview with
a friend or parent, or even on your own. The videotape will
help you more accurately observe how you are seen by others
and decide what you like and what you may want to change.
